All the King's Horses

The human heart is much like our pal Humpty: fragile and impervious. We allow ourselves to teeter on the wall's edge, our heads high in the sky and feet far from the earth, completely unaware of the possibility that we might fall. Others can see us from a distance and shake their heads at our abandon, but the thrill makes them easy to ignore.

What happens when we step on a crumbling brick and fall from the impossible heights of being in love? When we can't trust our judgement of where to place our feet?

Sometimes we are left at the bottom of the wall to pick thinks up on our own. Other times, our fellow silly Dumptys help us to sweep up the pieces.

I took my first tumble, and I suppose that I'm a lucky one: All the King's Horses and All the King's Men sent me a text message two days later asking to talk. Wanting to put things back together again.

We're working on it. I'm just worried that once things are glued back together again that the same faulty brick will come along on our journey along the wall and I will tumble again. Can love be like a muscle that needs stress to grow? OR- does a crack compromise everything?

To be honest, my heart has no idea so my brain keeps trying to take over... to tell me that doubt is a heavy companion that never truly leaves. If the idea of being permanently apart is ever welcomed by one of the two, even for just a few days, that eventually it will resurface with greater strength. That one would be silly to gift time to someone that questioned really wanting it.

But real love exists. I know because I've finally felt it. It has to be more than a nursery rhyme to have survived 4000ish years of humankind, right? And being so confident and sure and quiet and peaceful within it must be possible to reclaim. That is worth having faith in, even in the face of completely opposite logic.

So raise a glass to getting back onto the wall again and trying not to look down.

A Lung is a Terrible Thing to Waste

Hi friends! Anyone within earshot can't avoid my old smoker-man cough. He's been my constant companion like a head-scratcher salesman at a mall kiosk. At first I thought I just had some kind of Southeast Asian Superbug... but it turns out that it's asthma. Inhalers are sexy. Boys will line up around the block to watch me respirate.

This blog has been a bit of a downer, reflecting my overall mood of today. So how about a cute little photo to set things straight:

My 401k

"Your personalized rate of return, reflecting account balance plus deposits, withdrawals and earnings from 9/1/2008 to 1/16/2009 is -35.42%"

Great Minds Don't Post to Their Blogs at 4 in the Morning.

So... here it is almost 4am and I just created a blog. Weird, huh? I'm having a hard time sleeping because I just lost one of my best friends into the dating vortex where love turned into something else. If you've seen Dave and I together recently, you're probably stumped... as am I. Things were great, we get on like bread and butter, but sometimes bread prefers jam, a slice of cheese, or to just be a plain ol' piece of bread. (In case you're wondering, I'm the butter in this scenario.) The difficult thing is butter isn't good all by itsself, you know? It's just too much of a good thing and needs some bread to balance it out. So, I need to find a slice in another flavor. Rye? hm. funny aftertaste. Cinnamon Swirl? Haven't had much luck with the fancy ones. :) Sourdough, where art thou? In usual fashion, I'm getting carried away with an analogy, but you get the picture.

Isn't it strange how people that are perfect together end up apart? You see it all the time.

Exhibit A: My dear friends M & B.

So why does this happen? I think I'll use the scientific method to help me figure it all out.

QUESTION: How do two happy people that love each other end up not sticking together?

RESEARCH: hmmm..... Thinking back to that one semester of Chemistry.... (Actually, it was "Physical Science" -an amalgum of physics and chemistry in high school. No budget for real subjects anymore.) What causes bonds to break apart? Especially strong ones? See following diagram:


Did that clear things up for you? For you simpletons, I'll break it down. Here's an interesting quote that I didn't write myself.

"For any particular chemical bond, say the covalent bond between hydrogen and oxygen, the amount of energy it takes to break that bond is exactly the same as the amount of energy released when the bond is formed. This value is called the bond energy."

So, to summarize, it will take the exact amount of time and energy it took to bond/fall in love as it will take to break the bond/fall out of love.

"There are many forms of energy:"

• electrical- in love, i suppose this is the equivalent of lightning striking? Love at first sight, perhaps?
  
• mechanical- This could mean some kind of machine (YSA event)to bring two people together
  
• chemical- hmm... many singles events include alcohol or some other pleasure-inducing substance such as cookies.
  

"but all forms are ultimately converted into heat. So it is convenient for biologists to measure energy in unit of heat. The unit we shall use most often is the kilocalorie (kcal): the amount of heat needed to warm 1 liter of water 1 degree Celsius."
There's usually some heat associated with love ;) I wonder how many kilocalories are released in this bond-breaking. Enough to shed my winter belly?

According to ScienceWatch, "For more than 30 years the precision with which lasers can provide energy has transformed many sciences, and tantalized chemists with the possibility of selectively breaking chemical bonds." So lazers are involved. I thought so.

Here is my HYPOTHESIS:

Tantalized (and most likely, lonely) Chemists + LAZERS = precision break-ups.